by Audrey Ball

There’s a problem. Well, at least for me there is. Maybe people will agree with me. There are so many problems in today’s world that many don’t even realize that this is a problem. We don’t even realize what is actually going on behind closed doors.

Oh, here we go. Not again. One after another. Problem after problem. Am I the problem? What did I do wrong? Always asking myself what is wrong with me. Why am I not loved? House after house. Family after family.

Why can’t I have a family? 

I know I’m not perfect, but I don’t deserve this. Holding on to hope that I will make it out. Call after call. Picture after picture. Hoping one day someone will help me. Why won’t my case worker help me? I called. I have proof. Pictures, videos and even recordings. Still nothing. I’m still stuck.   

Being a foster kid is not for the weak. In today’s world the foster care system is so corrupt. Children and teens today are put in situations that no one should be put in. Some people are just not meant to be case workers. Or foster parents. 

One of the biggest issues is the lack of oversight and accountability. When case workers are overburdened or just simply not doing their jobs properly, it can lead to children and teens being placed in unsafe or neglectful homes. The system needs to be doing more checks and balances to ensure that children and teens are being protected and that foster parents are providing accurate care. 

Additional checks and balances will help children and teens that are in danger. Not everyone has or had a bad home. Or maybe even a bad case worker, but I did. I wasn’t allowed to eat when I wanted. Shower when I wanted. I had to ask for toilet paper. I wasn’t allowed to have a roll. I wasn’t allowed to shut my door. Not even to change. I had to use the bathroom to change. These were just some of the major rules I had. 

Many people don’t realize how foster care can really be. They don’t talk about all the little issues inside the home until you’re in the home. They also don’t mention how foster siblings can be, either — from stealing our belongings to giving them away. Sleeping in your bed. Using your personal belongings as theirs. To physical fighting, to late night arguments, it seriously never ends.  

This is why I think the foster care system is corrupt because of the experience I had. Calling for help and being ignored. There are so many children and teens that struggle from the same experience I had. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that children and teens are getting abused mentally and physically because the foster care system has failed to provide them a safe and loving home.   

Children and teens have resources like school or a trusted adult. There are many resources to reach out to. It’s important to speak up, even when it’s hard. Being in the foster system doesn’t mean your voice isn’t heard. You just have to find the right resources to help. Living through a difficult experience doesn’t mean you have to have a sad story. 

I’m not a sad story. I went through something traumatic, but holding on to the past wouldn’t help me move forward. I have good grades now. I have a job. A future, even after going through that traumatic experience. 

My favorite quote is, “Never be a prisoner of your past; it was a life lesson not a life sentence.” I carry that around with me everywhere. I sit and think about the lessons I learned instead of holding on to what happened in the past.

It can get better. Reach out to those around you. Check up on them. You never know what someone could be experiencing.