Story by Max Fisher

After a year of quarantines and online learning, the Jeff High hallway crowds are back again, and students have taken notice. “The hallways are so crowded it makes no sense,” said Miles Harper, a Jeff High student. While others like Toby Kauchak echoed similar concerns, saying, “They’re very crowded and loud.” Year after year, students clustering together in crowds during passing and blocking movement in the hallways and stairwells have become a hallmark of the Jeff High experience. While some congestion is inevitable, here are a few tips to make your hallway experience and that of your peers much easier.

– There is never a reason to talk in a circle. There is nothing worse than walking down the hallway and being stopped by a group of people talking in a circle. If it is that serious–and it probably isn’t–please at least try to find a more spacious area such as the commons. And if you can’t do that, feel free to discuss in a more compatible shape such as a line or a condensed oval.

– No Public Displays of Affection. The love of your life will still be there after the hour and a half class, and, no matter what you think, people do not want to see that. Your friends definitely mock you for this behind your back.

– Walk on the right side of the hallway. There is no reason to walk on the left unless you are heading to a locker or a class. Please stick to the right.

– The main stairs are actually not the best place to have a meaningful conversation. Despite what you might think, your conversation is most likely to be heard by the 50 people who walk by you. If you really need to talk, just know that literally anywhere else in the school is a better spot.

– Don’t run. You are at school, it’s not worth running. However, an exception can be made for light jogs to the lunch line? Especially if heading to the sandwich line to avoid waiting for food for over half your lunch. 

Hopefully, these tips will help create a better hallway experience, and if not, it’s at least nice to complain about this perennial problem.